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Scar Tissue: Emotional Vulnerability in Clinical Practice

— Accepting what we feel is the first step in healing

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Anamnesis is actually a word meaning "recalling to mind" or "reminiscence."

In philosophy, it means the remembering of things from a supposed previous existence. In Christianity, it's the recollection of the Passion, Resurrection, and Ascension of Christ. In medicine, it means the patient's account of a medical history.

And here at Anamnesis, the podcast, we reminisce.

We reminisce about the experiences we have that make medicine unique, that make it addictive, and that make it meaningful to us who have committed our lives to it.

Every episode, we bring three stories by people in medicine, based around a theme that unifies us all.

We've had some heavy ones recently: "Heal Thyself," "Resilience," "At a Loss," -- and some lighter ones -- like "Winning in Medicine," or "Eureka," but our goal is to celebrate the moments in medicine that are so easy to pass through, but that we should stop and introspect on about how they changed us, from the inside.

Our theme this month is "Scar Tissue."

And I don't mean the surgical scar tissue, the ones from the fall we took ice skating when we were 6, or the ones we give patients when we take out their appendixes or sew up their lacerations -- this is about the emotional vulnerability that we all have in clinical practice -- and that accepting what we feel is the first step in healing.

Now, this is a hard one for us as clinicians. We all fancy ourselves healers -- but don't always like to acknowledge that in the process, we need healing ourselves. Because the burdens we elicit from our patients, we often shoulder ourselves -- whether subconsciously, or in empathy -- and those burdens can chip at us, like they do any human.

But that's what we are -- human.

So today, we have three incredible, heart-wrenching stories from three brave humans on their own "Scar Tissue."

Chapter 1. I Can't Do This Again (3:28) -- A physician reaches his limit. Story by Taison Bell, MD.

Chapter 2. When the Patient Becomes the Healer (16:17) -- A doctor finds hope from an unexpected place. Story by Ashanda Saint Jean, MD.

Chapter 3. It Is Not a Sin to Cry (29:09) -- How being a good doctor is being human. Story by Hannah Brooks, MD.

Episode produced by

Hosted by Amy Ho, MD

Sound engineering by

Theme music by Palomar

Want to share your story? Read the Anamnesis Storyteller Tip Sheet, and when you're ready, apply here!