In this video, Mikhail Varshavski, DO -- who goes by "Dr. Mike" on social media -- reviews the funniest medical (and a few non-medical) memes of 2023.
Following is a partial transcript of the video (note that errors are possible):
Varshavski: "A decision was made here." Wow. I would have kept the weights.
Tim Robinson: You sure about that? You sure about that?
Varshavski: Or went double stuffed at least.
"Do you know I have atsgama? Atsmah? Ahma? Attsma? Breathn't? Speechn't?" What is happening?
"Me stealing my bro's vape so he doesn't get addicted." No, bro, that's his asthma pump and my guy is on the floor. That's albuterol. That's a SABA [short-acting beta agonist] for those who don't know.
"Primary care physician? You mean my 24-year-old friend in med school who I'll text my symptoms to against their will?" Oh my God. That was me. The amount of people's rashes in all sorts of places -- their partner's rashes, their children's rashes -- are all on my phone.
Kevin Malone: This is inappropriate.
Varshavski: There is no HIPAA here. They are not my patients. They need to stop sending me ... look, stop sending me rashes.
"What are your plans for this year?"
"Me and a friend are going to buy some glasses."
"And after that?"
"And after that we'll see." Honestly, my vision is getting so bad I'm considering surgery, so I relate to this meme.
"He'll make biscuits on your chest until you feel all better." That's cute. But that would be a problem if the defibrillator is actually missing because you need it in case someone's heart stops and it has a shockable rhythm, because that's the only time you use a defibrillator. Although the cat doing this as a form of chest compressions ... can we show a cat doing chest compressions? Just to make me feel better.
"I'm feeling quite," God, I hate these. Lassie? Sassy? What is that image of? Broken ball? It's a, Lassie is a dog. Is that a lemon? Is that a broken lemon? Unwell? 'Cause the dog saves someone that falls in a well.
Michael Scott: Well, no, no, not even close.
Varshavski: God, I wish I knew what this ball was. Is that a turnip? Is that a food? Is that a papaya?
Sam: Nope.
Varshavski: Is it a fruit?
Sam: Yes.
Varshavski: Onion.
Sam: It's not a mango, but it's another fruit that starts with M. Mel?
Varshavski: Melon? That's a melon? That's a diseased melon. I'm feeling quite melancholy?
Sam: There you go.
Varshavski: "Gynecologist Uses Speculum On Stubborn Pistachio Shell." This is something I so would do after I wash it.
"Drank this and my knees no longer crack and my joints move sooooo smooth." Yeah, do not drink that. Obviously it's a joke. Never drink that. Never consume that. I'm going to say that over and over again on this channel.
"When someone asks what the capital of Russia is." Moss cow? Moscow! I was like, "Oh, it's 'cause it's a cow." No, it's because it's a moss cow.
"Medical Influencer," this pissed me off when I saw it the other day. "Selfie ring light." Okay, fine. I used to have one of those. Now we have aperture lights. "Tripod stand," don't even use ... do we use tripods still? No, we have sea sands. We're a high end. "FIGS deal?" Clearly didn't see my video. "Haters in my DMs," that's true. "$20,000 in savings from ads." No, I hope it's more than that. "HIPAA violations," never. That's a priority. "Emails from hospital admin threatening to fire you if you don't take your BS down." That's actually never happened. Knock on wood.
"My bathroom floor is always wet because Neutrogena taught me to wash my face." I still don't know how to remove cleanser from my face. I sometimes rub. I sometimes splash. It never fully gets off. I don't quite understand how you're supposed to get soap off unless you're in the shower.
"Thinking about purchasing a VIRCO 3700brm desk so I can finally get some decent sleep." Honestly, I'm going to put a statement out into the world that I cannot prove factually, but I believe deep in my heart. These desks are responsible for 10% of scoliosis cases in the United States of America because we all were like this the whole time. Class-action lawsuit against them. Let's go. Who is with me?
Devin Stone: Dude.
Varshavski: "Big burger, mini burger. Big soda, little soda." Minnesota.
Sam: Little soda.
Varshavski: Don't they have an accent? Minnesota.
Sam: Minnesota. Oh, yeah.
Varshavski: Minnesota.
"FDA issues warning about black licorice for Halloween. It tastes like s*** – FDA." Twizzlers suck. Fight me.
"A few weeks ago I peed red and was buggin out and went into oncology and they were trying to figure it out and finally my oncologist was like, 'u eat beets recently?' Then I had to explain to an oncologist how I ate an entire jar of pickled beets in the bathtub because I was sad."
Yo, beets mess you up. You know what also messes you up? And I don't say mess you up in a bad way. I mean, mess up the color of your poo and urine. Beets and also Pepto-Bismol. A lot of people will take Pepto-Bismol for an upset stomach and then rush to the doctor because they're saying they see black in their stool and they're worried that it's blood. But if you recently just took Pepto-Bismol, it could be because of that. Upper GI bleeding, black in the stool. Lower GI bleeding, bright red stool. Interesting.
, is a board-certified family physician and social media influencer with more than 11 million subscribers.